It's Christmas!

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2012

This is Christmas ...

Merry Christmas

Scrapbook Photo's on Picasa

I think this speaks for a lot of people ... 

Ugg, Miss Me, and A&F didn't make Jesus "THE KING" 

~ don't forget WHY you're celebrating!

Be Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving 2012

Breast Cancer IS NOT a Pink Ribbon

This website is raw but it is beautiful ... just in case you are confused, Breast Cancer IS NOT a pink ribbon ...

http://www.thescarproject.org/

Tori Shannon Turk

10/06/1995 ~ 6:46pm ...

After 3 long days of labor (with no epidural), 

I was introduced to my one and only ~ 

Tori Shannon Turk. 
Until that moment, I had no idea that MY heart weighed

 6lb 6oz and was 19 1/4 inches long!
Happy Birthday to my Nellie! 

The absolute best thing I have ever done, or ever will do ... 

I may never have any initials before or after my name, 

but I will ALWAYS be "MOM"!!! And that's fine with me!

Being MOM ....

'Hell did not freeze over' when this photo
was taken by Nakia Lanier Knott
of Love Knott Photography on Saturday! 

It proves that I will do (just about)
ANYTHING for my angel girl blessing, Tori!

After being divorced (almost) 14 years (in January)
... this is what Tori asked for from me for her birthday ...
this photo ... yes, that's her dad. 

Thanks to Nakia for coming on site and making it happen! 

This is what being "MOM"
and an adult is all about! 

For Tori ~ I ♥ you!!!!

Breathtaking ...

This is the most perfect rainbow I have ever seen with my own two eyes!
It is spectacular!!!
10/01/2012

Life ~ no rewind ...

NO skinny jeans ...

Oh Yeah!!! 

My booty doesn't fit into "skinny" anything!!!

Love my SPIN classes, squats, lunges and Brazilian Butt Lift classes!

I like big butts ~ and I cannot lie! 

Stay ... Gone

Stay Gone by Jimmy Wayne

The House That Built Me

Clarity

Clarity ~ clearness or lucidity as to perception or understanding; freedom from indistinctness or ambiguity.

A revelation unexpectedly unveiled ~ Clarity so profound it takes your breath away but is as gentle as a whisper to your soul ... these rare moments are priceless and defining ... a welcome rest to a heavy heart an awakening to a troubled spirit. 

THE 'ah ha' moment ~

All of the doubts and fears are lifted; the worry is removed and the tears are dried. The prayers you thought were unanswered because they weren't answered your way or you didn't understand ... prove to be blessings! 

When Pigs Fly ...

When Pigs Fly…."A Reminder to live your dreams, no matter how impossible they may seem!" 

A flying pig is a symbol of an impossible event coming to pass.  Possibly the first occurrence of a pig actually "flying" occurred in 1909 when the British aviation pioneer Lord Brabazon made the first live air cargo flight with a pig in a basket tied to a wing-strut of his airplane. Additionally, if enough thrust is applied, any pig is capable of ballistic flight.  

John Steinbeck's Pigasus was used as a personal stamp to symbolize Steinbeck as "earthbound but aspiring.... A lumbering soul but trying to fly...(with)...not enough wingspread but plenty of intention."

I LIVE life...

As Relay for Life approaches, I had someone ask me about walking the 'Survivor Lap’ … followed by: “... when do you actually become a [breast cancer] survivor?"

I gave the answer I'd been given: "5 years" ~ but that stuck in my head and I kept thinking "5 years ... that's the magic number, huh?? 5 years ..."

Actually, I was a survivor the day I was diagnosed and didn't die.

Living with Crohn's Disease for well over 1/2 my life, I have had to literally learn to live with it! Not just ‘it’ but the treatments and surgeries and medications and complications that goes along with it ~ diets, good days, bad days, blood transfusions, hospital stays ... whatever ... However, you're never classified as a 'survivor' of Crohn's. You're a person living with Crohn's.

It made the think even more about the "5 year" answer and, for me personally, I don't think that is correct.

I think I became a person 'living with a double mastectomy' but I am a survivor every day!

I don't have a magic number.

Both illnesses have been a war ~ a battle ~ and I fight parts of each every day. I see 'battle' scars when I look in the mirror on my breast and my stomach. I feel pains in places that, theoretically, I don't have (phantom pains is what it's called ~ nerve sensations that you can't touch or soothe). I cope with symptoms and weaknesses; my weight and energy goes up and down like a roller coaster!  Physically and emotionally, I will never be the person I was before either diagnoses. I see 'whole me' in my sleep and I cry for what I have lost ... But, I LIVE for what I have left!!!!

Yes, I am a survivor ... I am alive and I am thankful and blessed. My physical imperfections are tools being used to strengthen me, even in my weakness, and they allow me the opportunity to appreciate each day! To Smile! To Laugh! To Love! And, yes, to LIVE LIFE!!!

My first year @ Relay walking the lap was surreal for me, but I was surrounded by my friends that loved me and supported me ~ encouraged me and helped me heal!! So on this coming Friday night @ Relay, with a heart full of love,  a soul full of gratitude, and an uplifted spirit … my friends and my faith in my almighty God…  I will walk that "Survivor Lap' with an overwhelming sense of thankfulness knowing that I made it one more year!!! That I LIVED ONE MORE YEAR ... by accepting the gift of each day that lead me to it!!!

Walk in my shoes ...

I think I was born in the wrong era ~

Couldn't have said it better myself ...

Happy

Talk about happy as a kid in a candy store!!!

A few of my favorites ...

Love is not a word to 'fall' into ...

Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It's a house we enter in
And then commit to never leave
So lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We'll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees

Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
If we try to leave may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

To some, love is a word that they can fall into
But when they're falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do

I think it's called "a knight" ...

Happy Summer 2012

Happy Summer 2012

"Could have, should have, wish I had ...

Maybe ... one-day ... if only ..."

These words usually follow regret and misery. 

A good friend told me once that a future spent looking back was as miserable as death, only with death you know that you have no power to change the outcome ... and with  regret, you have (had) the power to the change  the outcome and you have

to live with yourself and the knowledge of knowing that it could be different except you were too (??? afraid, obligated, stubborn ???) to do anything about it!

Happy Mother's Day to me ...

Source: cutratestores.com via Sandy on Pinterest

May Day!

May, I have been waiting on you! 

WELCOME!!! 

When I was growing up, May 1 was the first day that my grandmother would let me play outside in my bare feet!
I wish I had some pretty ribbon and grand flag pole to wrap like in Elementary school at Cloverleaf!

Happy "May Day" my friends! 

I'm okay with that ...

I don't have 'the moves like Jagger' and I'm okay with that! I am not the smartest one in my group of friends and I'm fine with it! I rarely drink alcohol (I don't like the taste wine) and I'm perfectly content with me! When I go out, I am not the life of the party and that suits me best! I don't have it all, but I love what I have! I'm a 'giggling' 44 year old with so much love and appreciation and laughter in life that I often amuse myself! I live like I'm dying every day (because we all are) and it's the little things that I will never forget!!!

Gus & Clara

If she shoe fits ... buy it in every color! 

A mother and her son ...

Matthew 27:55 ~ as a mother, this passage humbles me beyond words. I cannot image being Mary at this moment ... as I reflect on the glory of this day and the 'son rise' on Sunday, I am grateful, unworthy and blessed to be a child of God of grace and mercy that loves (not loved, loves) me this much and I am honored to be descendant of a woman of strength and beauty such as Mary. Matthew 26-27-28.

Dark Shadows ~ My Birthday

It was 44 years ago (3/21/1968) that my mom went into labor with me while watching her favorite soap opera "Dark Shadows"!!! She didn't go to the hospital until AFTER the show went off, but later that evening I was born ~ Sandra Lynn Collins.

(Ironic too ~ my last name was Collins and Barnabas' last name is Collins ...)

At least now with the DVD collections available, she can relive that moment any time she has the desire to do so! Gigggggles! Even though one never forgets giving birth, I am sure that, at 16 yrs 3 months (exactly) of age when the blessed event occurred, she doesn't wish to relive it often! LOL!

And ... "Mom, if I haven't said it before, I apologize for trying to make my grand appearance during your soap opera! How terribly inconsiderate of me!!"
Gigggglesssssssss!


If I am correct, airing on Thursday, March 21, 1968 was Episode #454 as described below.

http://headhuntershorrorhouse.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Shadows:_454


 Episode 454
      Worldvision Rerun 242
      Tape Date: March 15, 1968 (ABC #59-DRK-68)
      Air Date:  March 21, 1968 Thursday
      Writer:    Gordon Russell
      Director:  John Sedwick
      ( The prologue mentions that Vicky is nearing the end of her
              journey into the past.)

      (Missed. Earlier sypnosis follows).

A séance has been held in the great house at Collinwood; a séance which has suspended time and space and sent Victoria Winters on an uncertain and frightening journey into the past; back to the year 1795. As she nears the end of that journey, she finds herself a hunted woman. In her place of refuge in the Collins' mausoleum, she will have a strange dream in which she will discover that she has changed the course of history.

           

Not a pink ribbon ...

Source: thescarproject.org via Christa on Pinterest

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, 

and not to twist them to fit our own image. 

Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them." 

Sheldon Cooper

My friend told me that he thinks the more 'degree' letters he gets after his name, the less his C.S. (common sense) works ~ LOL! I told him I don't have that problem because the MOM after my name equips me me with a doctorate in C.S. and B.S (BullS**t). and so technically, I am MOM, B.S., C.S., B.I.C., Ph.D which makes me almost the same as Sheldon (Big Bang Theory)! giggglesss!

That's why God made Mexico ...

Love is never too busy...

A Reckoning of Us

(click to hear song)

words hurt

Charlie and Sue

This book is one of my favorites ~

Redeeming Love: Francine Rivers

I love to read this book! I think I have read it 6 or 7 times and I enjoy it more each time! It is such a beautiful story!

I really like Lonesome Dove, too!

Both books have special meaning to me.
Both tell a story of unconditional love ... a love so rare and unique with a forgiveness just as unconditional as the love itself ~ in fact, it is the forgiveness that makes the love unconditional.

I don't think many people are selfless enough to appreciate this kind of  emotion... or to believe that someone can feel this much passion for them.
A selfish person can't understand it because it puts the other person first in the relationship. It's not all about them ~ it's about someone else and the fact that making that person happy is  more important than making ones own self happy.

To experience this type of connection ~ true and unfailing ~ is a priceless gift!

This is why I work out!

I ain't afraid to show it ...

Research for my future plans ... Do, or Don't ???

Being Valentine's Day ~ the day of LOVE ~ (and contemplating my V-Day and future) I have been doing some research ... Do I ever really WANT to get married again?
Lets' face it, the  mere fact of completely and unconditionally loving someone has not exactly lead me to the "Little White Church" ... In fact, I think it may have done the opposite bc it has made me too forgiving! LOL!
Nevertheless, in my research I looked for Reasons: TO GET MARRIED and TO STAY MARRIED.
While I did not find exactly what I was searching for, I did find some interesting information! Below is what seemed to resonate in every article I read ...

Top Reasons NOT to GET Married:

1) Fear of Being Lonely and/or liking the idea of 'being' married
2) Family and Society Pressures to GET married
3) Accidental pregnancy or because you want a baby
4) Marrying for money, property, support 
5) Security ~ financial, social, emotional, career
6) Marriage out of pity for the one you've been dating (or yourself)
7) To fill a void in your life / avoid family troubles
8) Marriage for Visa or Citizenship
9) Sexual hunger / lust
10) Because you are 'in love' and think you should get married
11) Marriage because of blackmail (financial / emotional)
12) Because of the wealth or family status of the person

Top Reasons NOT to STAY Married:

1) Staying Married for Children

2) Staying Married for Financial Security: Money is a great motivator when it comes to staying in miserable marriages.Mostly Woman tends to stay in such marriages because of the comforts and perks they get in the husbands house. The same applies for a man who survives mostly on his wife's income. But one thing they forget is that no amount of money can buy love or happiness. Staying together for money is one of the stupidest things anyone can do!

3) Staying Married because of Guilt: Many men and women stay in marriages because they feel guilty that they have ruined the other person's life, especially in love marriages. Even if they have fallen out of love with their spouse or fallen in love with someone else they prefer not to let their spouse know about it by staying married. What they forget is that they are being unfaithful and only troubling themselves and not doing their spouses any favors by keeping them in a relationship with someone who doesn't love them anymore.

4) Staying Married to prove that their choice was right
5) Staying Married to Honor the Vows
6) Staying Married because of low self esteem and loneliness

7) Been forced to stay together: Many times couples are forced to stay together in marriage because of society pressures and pressures of family or relatives who are worried about their reputation than the feelings of the couples who are miserable and suffering the effects of an unhappy marriage. Remember that you are the one who is suffering and you have the right to rectify the condition.

9) Staying Married for Property or Assets: Many times, the couple would have build together houses, purchased property or build business together which they are both attached to and would not want to give up for any reason.

10) Staying Married is less expensive: Some Men feel that staying married is less expensive than getting a Divorce especially if they have to shell out huge alimony settlement for opting out.

The irony is that both lists are VERY SIMILAR! 

My conclusion: if I'm not marrying because I love my partner unconditionally, unselfishly, 100% completely with ALL of my HEART, Body and Soul ... then I shouldn't consider marriage as an option for me ...hhhhmmm ... a bit sobering on this 'day of love' ...

Happy Valentine's Day!

You ruined me ...

The Big Bang Theory... Leonard & Penny

The reason it hurts so much to separate, 

is because our souls are connected.  

~Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

It's 'that time' again ... my FAVORITE!!! YAYYYY!!!!

These little delicious treats only come out once a year ... and it's HERE!
I am sooooo excited! YAYYYY!

If Jesus came to your church, would they let Him in?

Love Is ... Meet Joe Black

"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try, because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."  William Parrish in “MEET JOE BLACK”Love is ... MEET JOE BLACK

Live your life ...

Tori had an out of town friend over today ... the child just turned 16 and has a 2012 car, had on Miss Me jeans, Ugg boots, and Abercrombie hoodie and carrying a Coach bag ~ and an overnight Victoria Secret bag, including a pair of Tom's and more other people named clothes ... I asked her if she was just trying to be like everyone else underneath all of that advertising (?) bc I was pretty sure there was an original person in there somewhere ...The pressure society puts on these kids to 'fit in' for popularity sake is unreal! It makes me sad and it makes me mad ... no wonder so many have self esteem and confidence issues! They have no clue what they like or who they are bc they let society dictate their worth for them! It breaks my heart ...