John 10:10 and The Christmas Tree

I have not decorated a Christmas Tree since 2013 ... and that year, it was down before the day arrived.
Have I missed it? No. I missed the memories of the years leading up to that Christmas, but not that Christmas or any Christmas since. Fact is, I wouldn't have a Christmas Tree this year had my mom not ordered me one online (see picture) and had it shipped to my house!
I spent the night with her for the Thanksgiving holiday this year and she said, "It's time to put up a Christmas tree, Sandy." I didn't respond because I knew she was right but, selfishly, I didn't want to do it. I knew when I opened that box of ornaments that I'd be faced with the memories of 18 Christmases leading up to 2013, and I didn't want to face them. I didn't want to be reminded of the lost innocence or think about the memories we weren't allowed to make in the following years, let alone remember the actual years. I didn't want to admit how much it hurt - still hurts - and how much I miss what the enemy has stolen from me. Actually, even more than any of that, I ache for what it has stolen from my Nellie.
I say 'stolen' and some may debate that since a great deal of it was by choice; however, it was choices made under the influence of lies and manipulations of his wickedness. For me, it was John 10:10, "the enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy..." and that he did.
Oh, but beauty instead of ashes is what my Father so is so tenderly showing me! (Isaiah 61:3) As His Word holds ever true, He lovingly and faithfully continues to work in the heart and lives of his children by healing, restoring, comforting, and bringing peace in the wildest storms. Hands raised high in surrender, Praise God, I am one of His children! I know He was always with me. I know He never left my side! I know, too, because of His love and protection, I will have the opportunity to spend future Christmases with my girl. I never doubted His love for me; I just didn't want to let go of this particular hurt. He allowed me to grieve because His timing is perfect.
Over the past several months, long before the "Christmas" season started according to the calendar, I've been hearing little whispers of "CHRIST-mas is coming" during my quiet time; in my prayer time; throughout my Bible reading and devotions - "CHRIST-mas is coming." 
Yes, my momma was correct.  It was time for me to put up a CHRIST-mas tree because the time has come for me to live in the second and most important part of that same verse, "I came that they may have life and have it in abundance."
As I unwrapped those delicate ornaments, tears flowed freely. Like ripping a band aid off an open wound, it hurt. Each ornament brought a smile through the tears. Beauty from ashes. The enemy would try to thwart the healing with a piercing flash in my  mind, but my God would not let him overtake me! This was my healing! This was for God's glory!
I have not spent a Christmas with my Nellie since 2013. I may not spend it with her this year ... or any other year the Lord allows me to bear witness to ... but whether I do or whether I don't, I will not take for granted the joy of celebrating the birth of my Savior for another second! It is true, the holidays are not easy for a lot of us. The more important truth remains ... He is worthy of my praise no matter what!

For unto us a Child is born,

Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.

And His name will be called

Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9:67

Rediscover the day - November 30, 2013

He got ahold of my life ...

"I Got Saved" by Selah

I am restored and made right, 

HE GOT AHOLD OF MY LIFE -

I've got Jesus - how could I want more!

Right there ...

Being the mom of one that is tormented by the demons of substance abuse, the judgement of the world is hurtful. Addiction to anything – drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, food, video games, etc etc – is the mind control of the real enemy … Satan … and it’s been around for as long as history has been recorded. 

Look at Judas ... He was a disciple with Jesus and he was a known thief!

Why did he steal? 

He had a walking, talking, living, breathing relationship as one of the hand-picked and chosen disciples of Jesus Christ!! He had the very touch of the messiah, literally, at his fingertips. Nevertheless, something – some addiction to something – made him steal to get what he thought he needed! Imagine that … walking side by side with Jesus and still thinking he needed something more!

Ironic? 

I think not … we do it every single day! The very Spirit of the living God is alive IN you and me, yet we seek, search, crave for things that we think we need that He can’t fulfill.

                                                                                                                                      

Now, let me say, there are SOME parents fighting their own demons and trying to find their own fix. For those, I pray fervently for healing. 

On the other side, however, you have the parents that are fighting and trying everything within their power to save their child! Yes, doing everything within their power to get the ones busted that their child is getting drugs from. If their child is there at the time the bust unfolds, well, that's OK, too, because I guarantee those parents would rather visit their child behind bars than at the cemetery!

Unless you have dealt with this personally, you cannot fully understand the heartache of the parents of one tormented by the enemies' lies and substance abuse. Truth is, everybody judges right off the bat without knowing the story. That is hurtful and wrong! 

WHERE WAS THE MOM???

Right there...

At the pre-natal class.

At the parenting class.

Laboring to give birth.

Soothing her crying baby.

Rocking her baby.

Watching her baby sleep.

Right there...

Recording her baby’s milestones.

Child-proofing her house.

Preserving a tiny tooth, a clip of hair.

Strapping her baby in the car seat.

Where Was the Mom?

Right there...

At the open house for school.

At the store buying new shoes.

Reading a bedtime story.

Cooking dinner.

Packing lunch.

Where Was the Mom?

Right there...

Holding a chubby hand.

Walking to the school bus.

At the dinner table.

Helping with homework.

Driving the carpool.

At the Scout meeting.

At the teacher/parent conference.

At the baseball game.

At the dance recital.

In Sunday church.

Where Was the Mom?

Right there...

At the pediatrician.

At the orthodontist.

Driving to the music lesson.

Filling a prescription.

Wiping a runny nose.

Bandaging a scraped knee.

Right there...

Placing her child on Santa’s lap.

Wrapping presents.

Hiding Easter eggs.

Baking a birthday cake.

Lighting candles.

Trick-or-treating.

Where Was the Mom?

Right there...

Taking a prom picture.

Ordering a cap and gown.

Touring a college campus.

Where Was the Mom?

Right there...

On the phone with the addiction specialist.

At the NA meeting.

Driving to the treatment center.

At the emergency room.

In the prison waiting room.

At the Psychiatrist.

In personal and family therapy.

Driving up and down the night streets.

In her bedroom, crying.

Where Was the Mom?

Right there...

At the Coroner’s.

At the funeral parlor.

Weeping in a dark room.

Placing flowers on a headstone.

Tracing her child’s name with her fingertips.

                       

Where Was the Mom???

RIGHT THERE. 

I'm Going To Praise Him

Habakkuk 3:17-19

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
    and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
    and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
    and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
    I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
    he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
    he enables me to tread on the heights.

#lifeatcfbc