It's a "messed up girl thing" ...

Okay ...
I did a 45 minute INSANITY cardio class today at the gym, followed up an hour later by a 60 minute HIP/HOP BOOTY BALLET class! I am insane!
My "booty" is feeling the love tonight, believe me! LOL!

You know ... I go to the gym a minimum of 4 days per week (they are closed on Sunday) and take at least one class on each of the days I am there.
WHY???
The answer is what's "messed up" ~

I do it because I don't want OTHER WOMEN commenting that "I'm fat" ~ heaven forbid,in a bikini!!!

At 5'6" ~ 121 lbs and < 20% body fat ... I AM NOT fat, by any calculation ~ except that of another woman and a mirror! LOL! Ladies, it's called "curves" and men like them! SHEEEE-EEEESH!!

Now, I've neverrrr had a man comment that I am fat ...
It's usually more along the lines of:"umm umm, hey baby, want some fries with that shake..." or some asinine remark such as that - totally a comment not generated in the brain ~ trust me!

BUT... other women ... totally different ballgame!!!!

I mean,one ounce of "jiggle" in the wrong place (booty and/or thighs) and that's a serious cause for the following to be said by "passer-by" females and whether or not they know you, is not important!

"OMG... can you BELIEVE she is wearing THAT? Did she not look in the mirror before she left the house??? Doesn't she have any "real" friends ~ obviously "NOT" or they would have told her "Girlfriend, you need to cover that up! or buy one size bigger ... HELLO!"

I work at the gym, like a crazy person, a minimum of 4 hours per week to avoid this ... It's a "girl" thing! LOL!

I'm 42 ~ my 14 year old deals with this ... I really should be past it, but it neverrrrr ends!! EVER!

When we, as women, are more like a man and happy at any age, weight, stage of life~ fat, bald, WHATEVER ~ then, and only then, can we appreciate the "joys" of being a man! LOL!
As long as they have functioning parts, they are happy and proud! It's amazing!

However, until the time of total acceptance and "whatever bliss" is common place among women, it appears that the fitness centers will keep racking in the big bucks -because as opinionated and judgemental (and jealous) women,we are going to pay the monthly dues, no matter what they cost!

Besides, who needs to spend money on food when you're trying to fit into a bikini, or a size 5?!?!
Food, at this point, is highly over-rated! LOL!!!! Spend it at the gym~on fees & protein bars!!!

I'm going to bed ... if I can get my sore booty up and walk in there!!!
I need to rest ... it's only 8 1/2 hours til 6:30 tomorrow night and I get to do it again!!!
I can't wait!! .... LMAO!!! (not really, I'm trying to "work" it off!!!)

It's snowing ... and it's sooooo pretty!!!

Gifts ...

Let me start by saying this ... I LOVE surprise gifts ~ "nothing" gifts ~ given for absolutely no reason at all, other than JUST BECAUSE and when I least expect it! MY FAVORITE ~ Daisies!
Take today for instance ... when I got home from work, I checked my mailbox only to find several things I did not want and ONE that I did ... a little box of chocolates! I have the BEST BFF in the world... it's ironic how "she" happened into my life & world, too! Another story for another day... BUT, I went 41 years without a "real" best girlfriend and then, WHAM ... I get breast cancer, new "girls" and a BFF!!! LOL!!!

I like surprise dates, too ~ dinner and movie ~ or just "nothing" stay at home and just be together dates ~ trips, too! I'm not a picky person!
I am not a "material" person ~ I'm an honest, heart-t0-heart person!

Now, having said that, let me add that I cannot function without my calendar ~ it used to be the "handwritten agenda" but now, its my YAHOO calendar on the iPhone ~ my life (and my daughters) micro-managed on a micro-chip in a cell phone! How folks manage without a calendar is beyond my realm of thinking ... I cannot comprehend it! LOL!

AND... one more thing ... I am a "Greeting Card" queen ~ LOVE THEM! I love to send them and I love to receive them! ANYTIME... for ANY REASON... EXCEPT WHEN DICTATED BY A DATE ON A CALENDAR! I knowwww... strange, isn't it!

I guess one could safely say that I'm a "just because I want to; when I want to" kind of woman!

Like I stated in the first sentence ... I like "SURPRISE JUST BECAUSE" tokens!

If I am inclined to give someone something, I want to give it WHEN I WANT TO GIVE IT!

The same goes for receiving a gift - SURPRISE ME! It's not that I don't want it, or don't appreciate it on "holidays" celebrated by the population as a whole, it's just that it is soooo much more special and meaningful when it is given and/or received JUST BECAUSE ~ OUT OF NOWHERE ~ not when EVERYONE is celebrating! (Just like my chocolates in the mailbox today(!!) not Sunday!!! LOL! The "BFF" knows me... LOL!)

However, let's take Valentine's Day for instance - why say "I LOVE YOU" just on February 14th - sending cards, balloons, FLOWERS - why not do it on April 3rd, June 18th, September 10th ...February 10th(!)... how much more special and meaningful would that be???
Personally, to me, A LOT MORE...

If I'm not loved enough to be told everyday, any day, then don't tell me on February 14th just because it's Valentine's Day!
LOVE ME EVERYDAY ... TELL ME EVERYDAY!!!
A post it note, a greeting card, a phone call, an email ... in person ... via carrier pigeon... the "how" isn't nearly as important as the "why"...
WHY??? BECAUSE IT IS 100% TRUE, FROM THE HEART OF THE GIVER!!!

If I love you ... I'm going to tell you! Why not??? Why wait???

Just like the brain has absolutely nothing to do with it, with "real" love, neither does a date on a calendar! - It isn't dictated by what day of the month it is, it's dictated by the HEART!
No brain, No calendar...ALL HEART and SOUL!

Most people that are acquainted with me, know me as Sandy - the "Ice Princess" - cold, stubborn, hard... however, a FEW, a very select few, have seen the other said of me - the "Fiery Passionate" Sandy.

I am both ... Ice and Fire... and I embrace both.

I am passionate to a fault ... I am 100% woman ~ from my stiletto's and "JLL" hair, to my "librarian" glasses and very "unique" sense of humor!

So, if you're reading this ... and you love someone ... tell them that you love them!

Shower them with sweet, soft "barely there" smooches and tender little kisses!

Wrap them up in your love and your hugs and all that YOU are ~ because if you give to them the beautiful, genuine, complete gift of yourself and all that is "you" ~ everyday ~ a date on a calendar and a greeting card aren't important!
The person receiving the gift of you will have everything he or she could ever want!!! And, you'll be just a fortunate when you are the recipient of the same gifts given back to you!!!

"PS, I LOVE YOU..."

BFF... I " heart" you! LOL!!! THANK YOU!!! You really are "the bomb... tick, tock!" LOL!!!

A man's "Words of Wisdom" ...

A man's point of view...

"Whatever you give a woman, she'll want more; give her sperm and she'll either get an upset tummy or a runny stool; give her a house, you can bet it was in the divorce settlement; give her groceries and her dress size will expand exponentially; give her a smile, she will wonder what you're up to; She multiplies and enlarges her ass based on the number of bon bons she stuffs in her yap; So, if you give her any crap, you can bet it was damn well deserved!

The Blue-Eyed Charm Of The Wicked...

Words of wisdom from my best girlfriend...LOL!

Mandy Guilbeau Moore: "Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater, give her sperm she will make a baby, give her a house she will give you a home, give her groceries she will give you a meal, give her a smile she will give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what she is given. So if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit..."

sometimes you have to lead your heart....

"...you can't always "follow" your heart ~ sometimes, you have to lead it..."

I love that line from the movie "Fireproof" because it is so true.

Love shouldn't be a fight or a struggle - but it should always be worth fighting for! My grand-daddy would tell me: "Sandy, if it is easy, anybody can do it...easy isn't necessarily the best. If you aren't willing to work for it, then you don't want it bad enough."
I agree with him ~ and I agree that the farmer will not by the cow if he is getting the milk for free!

I have had days when I've been on top of the world and I've had days when I have felt like the world is on top of me ~ right on my shoulders! Doors haven't just closed, they've actually SLAMMED in my face and trying to force them back open has only proven more painful than the initial shock and hurt. I guess sometimes when a door closes ~ you just need to LOCK IT! LOL!

"One door closes, another one opens" isn't that they way it goes? HHMMM... wonder how long that takes? As I was coming home from Chattanooga today, I was flipping radio channels and stopped because I heard Tim McGraw (I ALWAYS stop for Tim McGraw!) and he was singing "Live Like You Were Dying" which for me, given all that I've been through recently, touched home. Some of the lines are something like..."I loved deeper, I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness that I'd been denying... I became a friend a friend would like to have...Live like tomorrow was a gift and you've got eternity to think about what you did with it..."

I'm not dying, THANK GOD! I'm surviving! It's strange to think about, but I never really knew how to forgive until I knew how to love and I didn't know love until I let go of the "control" on my heart. I was completely bewitched, captivated, mesmerized by another individual ~ I had no control!
Doors close...Time heals…Windows open…
I’ve tried to live my life with as little regret as possible ~ when I have had reason to regret, I find that it is regret for the things I DID NOT do more so than for the things I DID do! I’ve lived 41+ years this way ~ I hope I have 40+ more! LOL!!! I’m not afraid to stand up for what I believe in; go to battle for what I know is true, right, honest; speak my mind or my heart… I’m not afraid to lose but I always, always want to try! Failure isn’t necessarily defeat…just like being couageous isn’t about not having fear!
Living life – Laughing at myself & enjoying the beautiful, loving people around me! Always Loving with an open, free heart without worrying too much about the path I’ve traveled, hurt from the past, or what tomorrow might throw my way, because, truthfully, I would walk back through all the heartache and pains that I’ve experienced over the past 40+ years to get right back to where I am today!
NO REGRETS… LIFE IS GOOD… I AM BLESSED!!!

My favorite...

I don't like "stuff" ~ I am not a material girl.
I am passionate ~ my heart and my love are pure...

For years I was the Ice Princess...
but I've been awakened ~

I don't ask for much ~
Honesty and Respect mean more to me
than anything money can acquire.

Life is good...

I'm a Mother, a Friend, a Christian, and a Survivor...
My name is Sandy Turk and I'm a breast cancer survivor. Diagnosed in May, 2009, I underwent a double bilateral mastectomy on July 1, 2009.
As the 41 yr old single mother of a 14 yr old teenage daughter, "CANCER" is not the diagnoses one expects to hear (not that anyone "plans" on having cancer) but, frankly, I just simply did not have time to deal with it!
Well... it certainly had time to deal with me!
Fighting battles is one area in life that I'm not only experienced at, but I'm good at as well... I have always been a survivor, having been diagnosed with Crohn's Disease in 1989, and I FIGHT LIKE A GIRL... TO WIN!
I underwent the double mastectomy and began reconstruction immediately... my "team" of surgeons at Erlanger Hospital is simply the best! It is amazing what a talented, experienced “Reconstruction Surgeon” can do! “Real” may be “better” (except mine tried to kill me) but the “fake girls” are SPECTACULAR! (An aside: Cancer took my breast, not my sense of humor!”)
Thanks to the careful and consistent monitoring of Dr. Wachsmuth, I was diagnosed early and I am now Cancer Free!
The emotional battle has been equally significant (if not greater) than the physical, but, my "team" of friends and my faith in GOD have provided the inspiration and motivation needed to make it through each day, each phase, each doctor visit and each procedure. It is truly amazing what a word, a smile, a tear can do for the soul... even without words, ones heart understands when another is lifting it up!
Cancer changed me physically, emotionally, spiritually... I will never be the same woman that I was before - I'm better! Life is a precious gift to be treasured and nurtured... tomorrow isn't a guarantee, it is a privilege! A good (very wise) friend told me once that I needed to do two things, in addition to not giving in and/or not giving up: The first is not to focus on the mountain, but to focus on "the one" that can MOVE the mountain; the second is that courage is not being "fearless" but it is having the "fear" and moving forward anyway!
Each day, I remember those words... many days through tears... some "not so much"... but always, always, always with an "attitude of gratitude" that I am alive and that I have been afforded another day to live and the powerful choice to not give in and not give up!
I'm not afraid to stand alone; I'm not afraid to fight; I'm not afraid to lose... I am afraid to quit!
I have too much life left to live... a beautiful, talented daughter to watch, in awe, achieve more than I can imagine possible... a heart full of love to share...
"Laughter and Passion" are my strengths…they are my SUPER-POWERS!
Life is short... I plan to live, love, laugh – each and every day - with an unconditional passion and without regret!
GOD is with me, always, in the midst of my struggles & my battles! I cannot be defeated… in the end, I WIN!
Isaiah 43:2 “…when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned…”
Breast cancer picked the wrong woman... I'm a survivor!