--Judged-- by Sandy Swenson
"My child became an addict in his teens, lured to drugs and alcohol by a culture that glorifies substance use—the same culture that now, so ignorantly and harshly, passes judgment on him. And me.
I am judged for helping, fixing, and pushing (or not helping, fixing, or pushing enough) this sick child of mine who won’t be helped or fixed or pushed.
I am judged for over-reacting and under-reacting, enabling and letting go. Most hurtful of all, I am judged to be a mother whose love must be somehow flawed.
When my child became an addict, I became the mom of an addict—a role I wasn’t prepared for and certainly didn’t want. It’s a role the whole world seems to have an opinion about, whether they know anything about addiction or not.
Whatever I do (or don’t do) I am judged to be wrong, but I no longer pay attention to that. I just keep doing what I’m doing, with love."
Excerpt from my book 'Tending Dandelions: Honest Meditations for Mothers with Addicted Children’. ©Sandra Swenson 2017. [Hazelden]