Is your "one" the wrong one? (click to access article)
This really is a good article.
Yes, it is mostly common sense stuff, but some people forget that they really do have common sense!
One of my favorite sayings is: You can manipulate your mind, but you can not manipulate your heart!
From the article:
Q: Which of the book’s guidelines for knowing that a relationship is “wrong” are equally as applicable to men as they are to women readers?
Gauvain: The most important lesson for men and women to get from this book is learning to trust your gut feelings. Those gut feelings can sound that little voice in your head that makes you stop and pause, or the funny feeling you get in the pit of your stomach, or the sense that something is just not right. Our gut feelings are triggered by the red flags we mentioned earlier. Some call it intuition — being able to trust yourself enough to do what is right. If you are dating a woman who is constantly setting off a gut reaction within you, listen carefully to what that little voice in your head is trying to tell you about her. Carefully consider your girlfriend’s behavior and how she treats you. Does she constantly belittle you in front of her friends? Is she critical and judgmental of you? Do you share the same common core values? Is she disrespectful towards you or important people in your life? Are you constantly walking on eggshells? What happens inside of you when she behaves this way? If you have been ignoring your feelings or pushing them aside, STOP! Take a moment to examine those feelings and ask yourself if you truly want to be committed to someone who causes you so much discomfort.
Q: In the book, you stress that it’s more important to listen to your instincts than to memorize a list of red flags — that recognizing your own unique set of red flags is the most important thing. Do you hear from male readers who’ve had trouble listening to their own inner doubts?
Gauvain: I think the reasons that men and women squelch their instincts are similar in many ways — with one key difference. The women’s reasons for staying revolved around their insecurities or feelings of loneliness. They told us: “I was tired of being alone” or “I didn’t think anyone better was going to come along.” The majority of men we talked to stuck with less-than-fulfilling relationships out of their sense of duty, obligation, or unwillingness to hurt their girlfriends’ feelings.
It sounds like a cliché, but when you meet the right woman, you will just know. She will bring out the best in you, not the worst. She will be a constant source of strength for you through the good times and the bad. Your face will light up when you talk about her to your coworkers and friends. She will be the first person you want to talk to in the morning and the last at night. She will be the one who brings you a week’s supply of homemade chicken soup when you get sick with the flu. She may not like to watch “the big game” with you, but she will respect your desired pastimes and have her own set of hobbies that she does independently of you, without complaining. She doesexist… but sometimes you have to free yourself from the wrong woman before you can find the right one.